on my first time ca(r)mping
On My First Time Carmping - late summer of 2021
I have this idea for the future, possibly for next summer... It may sound a little crazy to some, but to me it doesn't feel crazy at all. The way I see it in my mind, I was able to work backwards and figure out a few things I need to do in order to prepare for it, logistically, yes, but mentally/psychologically as well.. One thing I knew I had to try was something I had been sort of visualizing myself doing in my head for quite a while, but I'd been too scared to actually do it and that's car-camping, also called carmping.
(Someone has to come up with a better name for it, because carmping just does not sound great, or is it just me?)
The Driving
Now, if you think that I was scared of spending a night sleeping alone in a car, you would be wrong. While that would require stepping a little bit out of my comfort zone, for sure, this isn't actually what I'd dreaded for so long. For me it was the driving.
See, I am a biker- I've always biked everywhere, anytime, rain or shine, day or night, most of my life, and if I don't bike, I walk.
I do drive, but it's not my favorite thing in the world. I am one hundred percent convinced that if you put me on a gorgeous wide road in the middle of nowhere, with no other cars around- I always picture something like the Monument Valley road, the US Route 163- if those were my driving conditions, I could drive for days and love every second of it. Comparing it to the narrow city streets of Europe, especially in countries where most drivers treat street signs as slight suggestions rather than rules that have been put there for their own and/or others' safety- well, to put it simply, that kind of driving scares the crap out of me. It always has. The countless scenarios of what everyone around you could potentially do, how they could behave, the drivers, the pedestrians, the bikers, and you're in a huge machine that I just never really feel I can control.. Of course I CAN control it, but I never FEEL completely one with a car, like I usually do with a bike.
But I also know that my fears and feelings have a lot to do with the simple fact that I just don't drive much, I never have. I can blame the environment around me all I want, but that's not something I can change at the moment. What I could do is add on to my experience and simply practice more.
So the biggest challenge for me was getting over my fears of driving though the urban but also less urban roads with tricky designs and lots of traffic. All that to finally get to the rural, more deserted parts of the country. I still get quite stressed by it.
Of course I know that technically if I don’t like it, if it overwhelms me, I don’t have to do it. And that’s true, I don’t. But the thing is that this is a vital component of the dream I mentioned at the beginning of this post. That dream will require me to drive through the whole country in order to get to where I want to go and since that will be a seriously big undertaking, with everything else it will entail I just feel like that cannot be the first time I drive anywhere further than the suburbs. I need to practice beforehand, even if it scares me, or actually, especially because it scares me.
Park Smart, Sleep Well
And another thing I wanted to check was how I would feel and how I would even manage to sleep in the car I had at my disposal, not a big car might I add. It's a small sedan, a Skoda Rapid to be exact. How would I fit in it? Would I be scared?
In my mind I had seen myself doing it so many times, doing it and loving it. But I have to be honest here, I didn’t actually know how I would feel actually doing it, you know, in real life.
Long before this trip I had already experimented with folding the back seats in the car and that’s how I realized they didn’t fold anywhere close to flat. That meant I needed to figure out how to lift the trunk space enough to make it possible to lie there, at least semi comfortably. This time I did it with a bunch of mats, towels and blankets, however, I already know that for longer trips I will need to build some sort of a platform.
My objective was to go somewhere far away from any town or village, far away from main roads and just generally as into nature as possible.
Purposely wanting to be far away from people meant that I could feel safe spending a night in the car, but precisely for that same reason I knew I had to be smart about it all, just in case.. And trust me, I’d already gone through all of the worst-case scenarios in my mind.
I knew that wherever I chose to stay, I needed to park and set up my sleeping arrangements in a smart way, so that if anything should happen I could just jump over to the front seat and drive away. Of course, I know that many things could happen that could prevent it, like a tree could fall down, cars could suddenly come out of nowhere and surround my car making it impossible to drive ahead, and a million other things. But trying to be a little more realistic in my imagination, I decided to focus on possibilities like a wild animal wanting to attack the car, say a bear, or what's sometimes even worse when you really think about what some people can be capable of- humans. But again, I could imagine that a full gang of cars decided to surround mine, but a more likely scenario would be just one person, a more unfortunate one a group of people... Well anyway, I could go on forever with worst case scenarios, but that’s not the point. The point is to do all that I can to prep for a quick and easy exit, just in case. That meant that I needed to keep the front seat open, (not store anything on it while I’m sleeping), and make sure there’s sufficient space for me to squeeze myself through the front seats onto the driver’s seat fairly quickly, if need be. I also wanted to park facing the road so that if I had to drive away quickly I didn’t need to bother with backing up or anything that may slow me down.
This is all just-in-case things, but better safe than sorry. Because knowing that, just in case, I do have these options covered really did make my sleep better that night.
Location: Middle of Nowhere
My goal was to find a remote place, far away from any light pollution and from people. Somewhere in a forest, possibly in the mountains. Of course I had already imagined a perfect spot but I knew it'd be very hard to find that around here so I was willing to settle for whatever felt right at the moment.
Why the middle of nowhere?
That one is a longer story, perhaps for another post, but in short, I've been fond of middle-of-nowhere's for many years now. Maybe always, but I hadn't been able to see it in myself back when I was a kid. Over the past few years the idea of being close to nature and far away from everything related to constant stimulation and people-related disturbances has been circulating in my mind and heart. I've been wanting to get away... and to stay away. But how? I wasn't interested in a weekend getaway, I knew I needed more time. And where would I go? Where would I stay? I certainly couldn't afford to rent out a whole house on AirBnB all by myself and that seemed like the only set-up I'd be okay with... So the idea of car-camping came to mind. The only problem being, I was too scared to drive– hence the practice.
The First Time
My first time I went with very limited goals, just to get somewhere secluded and stay there and see how it goes. If possible I really wanted to take advantage of no light pollution and take some photos of the night sky, specifically the milky way. Other than that, I had virtually no expectations. It was just a trial run. I needed to experiment and I did.
I parked over here (see picture). I decided to stay by the road because it seemed prudent and a good compromise since it was far away from any main roads and I doubted anyone would drive there at night.
I wasn't entirely correct in my thinking, but for the most part it was quiet and I was completely alone. Two times in the middle of the night a lumber truck passed by with headlights so strong it made everything look like the middle of the day. And once, when I was outside taking photos two mountain bikers rode by, clearly on some kind of crazy extreme adventure biking through the forest at night- they weren't actually riding on the road, they came out of the woods crossed the road nearby to where I was parked and went on into the woods on the other side. They also had insanely bright lights to be able to see well as they rode in pretty dangerous conditions- there weren’t any trails or paths or anything!
I parked there just as it started to get dark and by the time I set everything up it was nighttime.
It’s funny, if you don’t live by a forest or don’t camp a lot, you don’t actually realize how loud the forest naturally is. It took me a good 15 minutes or so to get used to all the night forest sounds. At the beginning everything seemed like someone was coming or creeping around me, but with time I learned to distinguish the wind, the falling leaves, the cracking branches, the far away sounds from the ones more nearby.
It was an incredible experience. I can’t say I was totally comfortable and relaxed, but there was something magical in the energy of the forest, when you don’t interfere, just let it be and participate. There was a certain feeling of uneasiness but only because I had never really done anything quite like that. And also, with time, that feeling subsided making space for peace and just a sense of overall calm.
I listened to the forest sleeping as I marveled at the night sky. That’s also another thing that added to my sense of safety. I find incredible comfort in looking at the night sky. I can feel completely lost and then I look up and everything seems to be in order.
Allow me to digress for a paragraph, as writing this reminds me of how dumbfounded I felt my first night in Australia. (I lived in Sydney for about 6 months over 10 years ago now). I remember very well I had prepared myself mentally for things being a bit different, the big bugs and spiders (I still had arachnophobia and just general entomophobia (a phobia of insects of all kinds) back then), that the seasons would be flipped and so on. But in all my preparations I didn’t actually realize that the sky Down Under doesn’t look the same to what I am used to. I’ll never forget the moment I noticed it. I went for a walk and it was already dark out, I was looking around trying to take everything in and I looked up at the sky, as I tend to do, and I almost lost my balance as my knees got a bit weak. At first glance I couldn’t tell you precisely what was missing, what seemed out of order, but things were definitely NOT where I knew them to be and that, whoa, that was a bit of a shock that first moment. Then of course I quickly realized how that is and what seemed like it was missing or disorganized and why and I was fine, but just that initial few seconds. For a second there it felt like my only anchor in the ever-changing everything disappeared.
Back to my first night car-camping. Where was I? Ah yes, I marveled at the sky allowing it to make me feel so small, but like a tiny yet integral part of everything. I love how the night sky always puts things into perspective for me.
I also took a few pictures and time lapses of the Milky Way.
Then I got into the car and into my sleeping bag and I fell asleep still looking up at the sky watching the Milky Way and the stars shimmering in the darkness.
Not Quite As Secluded
I woke up to the sound of a car approaching. It was around 4:30 am, so a little before my wakeup time. I got curious because the car didn’t pass by like the 2 lumber trucks at night. It stopped near to where I was parked and that did not make me feel good at all. I watched it though my curtains made out of scarfs that I hung around my bed area. What on earth were they doing? A whole group of people with buckets and baskets. Ah- mushroom pickers. The place I chose to park for the night might have been secluded and far away from everything, but apparently it was well-known to the mushroom pickers. I watched them go deep into the woods (it was already light enough to see well outside) and I went back to sleep for a little while longer. When I woke up an hour later there were seven (!) more cars parked in “my” little clearing and not one person in sight- all mushroom pickers looking for treasures.
A Hike Of Gratitude And Appreciation
The best thing about all the mushroom pickers was the fact that they were all gone by the time I was ready for my morning yoga.
After bathing in the early morning fog for a while I found a lovely spot to do my yoga and mediation. Later on, I went for a hike around the area and gave thanks to the forest for being kind to me the night before. It was a lovely night and day and I was glad to be able to enjoy it without spending any time worrying about the fact that I still needed to drive back.
Later that day I did drive back and got home feeling one tiny step closer to my dream adventure of (hopefully) next year. I also knew that I would want to keep going on those two-day carmping excursions as often as my schedule and the weather allows.
Whoa, I just realized this is a really long post, if you got all the way here, thank you for your time:)
Here’s to overcoming our fears, (at our own pace).
Love and light-
PV
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